Giving or sending  thank you notes to show your appreciation for a favor done for you, or perhaps to say your thanks to your wives or husbands who never left you through all your trials in life, or to your mother who never failed to show how much she loves and care for you. It is not even necessary that a person gave you a material thing of  high monetary value. You can  give thank you notes to say thanks to your dad for being the greatest dad in the world, or your best friend for the gift of unfailing friendship through thick and thin.

You can buy your friends or loved ones a gift, but just simply saying thank you would mean so much more. Personalized thank you cards or thank you notes written in a lovely stationary, with maybe a photo you have taken from a vacation to say you appreciated the invitation and you enjoyed your stay at your family friend’s place. Perhaps you can create a personalized thank you note with a photo of you and your pet, and then send it to  your special someone who gave you a pet puppy.

Those are just a few examples of little thoughtful things you can do to show your gratitude. If you want to make your simple thank you note extra special, check out cardstore.com you are sure to find great ideas and a great selection of notes, cards and stationary that you can make use of to design your simple yet heartfelt token of appreciation.

I am a gift giver, although I do not have the luxury to buy expensive gifts, because as you all know, the past few years has been a struggle for me and my family.  Before there was a world financial crisis, we were already going through it. At least now, we are somehow recovering from it.

When I was small, I get overjoyed whenever I receive gifts from people, but when I grew up, even simple greeting cards for whatever occasions, has become meaningful to me. I have realized what they meant when people say, “it’s the thought that counts.” Not that it is the only thing I could afford to give, but I just observed that even gifts comes with little cards where we write our thoughtful words for the one whom we are giving the gift to, and for those who receive the gifts, most especially the less materialistic people, they keep even those tiny cards to remember the giver by.

When you receive a bunch of fruits or flowers when you are sick, you feel happy and thankful, and then you read the card that the gift came with, and it says, “get well soon because we miss you already… we are looking forward to seeing you again. Take care…” you tend to forget the flowers or the fruits when they are gone, but you embrace the thoughtful words forever.

Simple notes and letters that says,  “I love You” or “I care” or simply saying “I’m just right here if you need someone to listen…” mean so much more than expensive gifts that are given for the wrong reasons and agenda. A simple thank you card saying “thanks for inviting us over, we had a wonderful time and dinner was great, we really loved your cooking!” would mean so much for someone who invited you over to their place for dinner the night before. It would make the person feel how much you valued their effort. However, be sure that you are sincere about what you say. Do not say things to people just for flattery’s sake.

What I am trying to say is that, even the simplest and smallest of all things could be the best gift in this world. Sometimes, people tend to forget that because they are expecting so much more…  but it is only when you learn to give value to even the smallest things that you’d really learn to appreciate and value everything that you have, and the most important gift that God have given you — Life.

Here’s another e-mail that I received for our Letters to Basti Section.

This matter is sensitive because it tackles an issue about marriage within the Philippines between two Filipino individuals. If in any case you find erroneous information, kindly inform me so changes will be made immediately. Please feel free to use the contact form.

Here’s our second letter and it’s from a guy named Arnold…

Basti,

Good day to you! I’m glad that you came up with this idea of people being able to share their concerns while others give their views. Just call me Arnold , a Roman Catholic  from Makati, Philippines. I would like to share this dilemma that I have right now, and I need other people’s input and unbiased opinion about a major decision that I am about to make.

I think we may have a somewhat similar situation and that you would be able to relate with my concern. I have a steady girlfriend for a few years now, we started during college. Our families are against our relationship,  most especially her parents, because I have a daughter with my ex-girlfriend whom I am supporting until now. For this reason, we kept our relationship secret all these years.

My girl is one month and a week pregnant right now and besides the two of us, no one knows about it  yet.  I am aware that it’s something that we cannot keep and that sooner or later, people will find out. But before that happens, we want to get married in secret. We don’t want other people to know, most especially her parents. We are planning to tell them about the baby after the marriage, so they can no longer break us apart.

Both of us are already in marrying age, and  with stable jobs. But honestly, at this age I have no idea about the procedures of secret marriage and hesitant to ask about it.

We want to get secretly married in church, but if it’s not possible, we can settle with civil secret marriage. We have already decided and whether her parents like it or not, we will push through with our plans.  Do you have any idea where we could possibly have a secret marriage held and is it illegal or legal here in the Philippines?

Perhaps there are some people out there who have also gone through the same situation, please share your views, I would greatly appreciate them.

Arnold

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Hello there Arnold, thanks for sharing your story and sorry bro if it took me awhile before I got to post your email here. I had to do a research regarding this matter because I don’t want to give you a wrong advice.

Marriage is a very sensitive issue whether in the law of God or man. And in your case, you are talking about “secret marriage” in particular, which I am not that knowledgeable of, since I wasn’t married in that manner. Although my relationship with Dee was kept secret for a few years, we were married with consent from our parents in b0th sides.  I had to ask for legal advice to make sure that whatever is it that I will say in here will be in accordance to the law and family code of the Philippines.

By the way, congratulations with the coming baby. I believe that having a baby is a blessing therefore take good care of your children. It’s good to know that in spite your being unmarried to the mother of your other child, you continue to do your duty as a father and provide support for your daughter. You are one lucky guy because  your current girlfriend/wife-to-be has accepted you regardless of your past.

Parents who are against relationships of their daughters to an unmarried guy with kid is a common thing here in the Philippines. You must understand that they are only concerned about their child’s welfare. Like right now, what they feared happened and your girlfriend is pregnant with your child outside marriage. But it’s already there, and at least you are man enough to face the responsibility and to be willing to take the relationship to the next level.

Arnold, sorry to burst your bubbles but to be honest with you, there is no such thing as a valid secret marriage, most especially if what you are trying to imply is getting married with no one else around but you and your girlfriend together with the individual who has the power to solemnize a marriage  under the law. You may hear a lot about the term “secret marriage”, it’s all nothing but a cliche.

For a marriage to be valid, the wedding ceremony must comply with the Family Code of the Philippines. Please refer to Title I. Marriage Articles 1 to 54 which comprise the complete provisions of the Family Code on marriage.  But since your concern is about getting married in secret, you might want to read Article 3 of the Family Code, wherein the parties declare in the presence of the solemnizing officer and of  at least two witnesses both of legal age, that they voluntarily take each other as husband and wife with each one saying “I do” to a series of proper questions. In other words, there should be at least three other persons, aside from the two individuals who want to get married, who are required to be present when you exchange your marriage vows. The individual who will act as the solemnizing officer of the marriage must also be recognized by the law as an individual who have the legal  authority to solemnize a marriage (see Article 7 of the family code). Otherwise, your marriage will be considered null and void.

However, if you mean “secret marriage” in such a way that her parents would not know about it and you are at the right age to get married without the presence of your parents, that is another story. You mentioned that you and your girlfriend and already in the marrying age and have stable jobs. what most people  know is that when an individual reach 18,  he/she can already get married. It’s true but this right comes with certain conditions and restrictions.

If you and your girlfriend are above 25 years old, you may get married even without the presence of your parents. However, you cannot keep it in “secret” based on the above mentioned reasons, the ceremony must comply with Article 3 of the Family Code, wherein at least 2 witnesses of legal age should be present, aside from the solemnizing officer. But if both or one of the parties  involved  is below 25 years old,  you definitely cannot keep your marriage from the knowledge of your parents, because you will need to present required documents when you apply for a marriage license.

If you or your girlfriend is above 18 but below the age of 21, the law requires “parental consent,”  and if any of you is 21 or above — but below 25 years old, a “parental advice” is needed, both of which are usually in affidavit form executed by the parents of the concerned parties. So, if you want to get married, may it be in church or civil, you must comply with all the essential and formal requisites found in the Philippine civil law.

One thing I can advice you is, let her family and your family know about the situation. Tell them about your plans of getting married, and try to start building a good relationship with your in-laws-to-be. This way, things will be much better for you, your wife and your coming baby. Start things right, and live in harmony.

I hope I was somehow able to shed light on your concern, and I also hope that you and your girlfriend will get married soon. Advance congratulations to both of you  for the marriage and baby!

To those who have ideas about this matter most especially those who have legal knowledge, please share your thoughts regarding this matter.

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Happy Heart’s day baby! Actually, everyday is valentine’s day for me because of you. You never fail to make me happy and feel so loved. I hope I do the same for you.

We both go to sleep and wake up everyday without each other by our sides. Some people can’t help but ask, how did we survive with this kind of set-up? I tell them, I don’t count the times that we’re far apart. I just cherish every moment that I get to hold you close and multiply it by forever.

Some people are lucky that they don’t have to go through the things that we are going through right now. But I honestly don’t mind, because all I know is that, after all these struggle, our love will prevail.

Once we are done with schooling, we will have more time to spend with each other, and we don’t have to worry as much as we used to. We won’t be too scared that we won’t able to give our son a bright future. We’re almost there, almost there.

I’m so happy and proud that we made it through so many trials and challenges for the past four years. I wouldn’t have made it without you, because you’re my strength and inspiration in everything.

I love you Dee, I love you so much with all that I am. I will do my best to give you the future and life that you deserve. Together we will make all our dreams come true.

You’re not just my wife and the mother of my child… You are my life.

Love Always,

Basti

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A Letter From A Confused Girl.

I was so surprised that someone actually sent me an e-mail about the letters to Basti post last year and took it seriously. Thanks to you! So I guess this is a take off for that section in this site. I’m also thinking of changing the Category name and place this section somewhere in the front so people can read them and share their thoughts. And to those who would like to share their stories just click on Contact Basti. Anyway, Our first letter sender is named Elsie and this is what she had to say…

Dear Basti,

I have read about your post Letters To Basti and I want to be a part of it. Just call me Elsie, I’m also a blogger, but I prefer not to disclose my identity to the public. I just want to share my story and to let out this humongous thorn that’s making me bleed inside.

I’ve had a best friend since we were in grade school, he is my godmother’s son and our families are really close, most especially our moms. He’s been really good to me, and he’s always been there for me. We’re also neighbors and we went to the same school since kindergarten.

After we graduated in high school, he told me that he has fallen in love with me, and I just tell him to stop making jokes, and he’s like a brother to me already. but the truth is I’ve had a crush on him even before, but I have tried to ignore the feeling because I’m scared that things might change between us. I even told my mom about it, and her advice was, it’s better to remain friends and we’re still young to get into those kind of things.
He’s cute, and not hard to fall for, but I value our friendship so much and I wouldn’t want to lose him just in case a bf-gf relationship would not work for us. He told me that he respect my decision and we’d remain friends.

One day, one of his friends courted me. He is good looking, tall, and many girls at school have a crush on him, even if he’s a bit of an air head and he’s not so intelligent. I’ve had a crush on him for over a year, and I never thought that he liked me too. My best friend didn’t like the idea and he said that they guy is just playing with my emotions and has other girls too. He said he knows him more than I do coz they’ve been friends for a long time too. I told him that maybe he’s just jealous and to stop making allegations. I said yes to the other guy and we became bf-gf.

My best friend has changed ever since. We don’t do things together anymore and he’s been trying to avoid me. Every time I see him, he wouldn’t even look my way and pretend to be doing something else, or he tries to talk to other people as if I’m not there. I’ve been trying to reach out but he doesn’t answer to my messages on his phone, e-mails, calls, etc. I even blogged about him often because I know he’s subscribed to my blog. But no reaction, even his mom said that he doesn’t want to hear anything from or about me. I felt really bad about it and I can’t help but cry every time he avoids me.

True enough, I discovered that my bf was cheating on me. All the while he had other girlfriends aside from me. I broke up with him soon as I found out but it’s too late, I’ve already lost my best friend. I felt so ashamed of myself for having to choose him and to listening to his false accusations that my best friend was just jealous of him. I told him I hated him and that he’s an A$$#073, I slapped him and gave him the first and only punch I’ve ever done in my whole life. He nearly fainted and he had a black-eye but still it wasn’t enough to pay for what I’ve lost because of him. I can’t forgive myself for ever falling prey to a liar at my best friend’s cost.

But it was too late, my best friend avoided me and he even shifted to another course and transferred to another school last October. When I asked him why, he said he can’t stand seeing me and having me around. He said our friendship was long gone and it’s better if we just forget about each other. I cried so much coz I know I have hurt him really bad, and I don’t even know how to make up for it. I know that guys are different from girls, but how I wish he won’t be so hard on me too. I don’t know what to do anymore to win my best friend back.

While we were apart, I’ve also realized that I love him too. I know, I was such a fool. I’m so shattered and confused right now.

Confused Girl,

Elsie

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Hello Elsie, I hope you get to read this. As requested I have posted your letter here in the hope that others can also share their thoughts about this.
As for me, I think your best friend was just really hurt. Aside from getting jealous coz you found a new love he also felt that you did not value him as much.
While he respected your decision to stay friends, he thought that you would still be the good old best friend who would listen to him and value his opinion. He was up to nothing but your own good, but you did not believe in him when he told you about what he knows. As a person who loves you, he was just concerned and he did not want you to suffer the consequences or to get your heart broken just in case you end up with the bad guy.
More than the person who loves you, he was your best friend who cared so much about you. I’m sure he felt that you did not trust him enough and you’d rather listen to someone else. Perhaps that triggered the thought that you don’t really need him, or a best friend around to care for you.
You also have to understand that We guys are different from girls. I’m sorry to be a little harsh but I just wanna tell you the truth. What you’ve done was not just mistrusting him as your best friend but he also felt insulted. I guess you just have to show him that you were wrong and don’t expect quick results because it’s not easy to just trust someone who once broke you heart, most especially if you loved and cared for them so much.
Give him time to heal, if he comes back then good, if not… at least you’ve learned your lesson, and I’m sure you’ll never do the same mistake again. But, if he really loves you too, I’m sure he’ll forgive you and he’ll be your best friend again. If you’re hoping for more, maybe you guys could work on that someday.

Basti

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Here is an Example Letter:

Dear Basti,

I’ve heard that you are planning to take over my position by putting up this letters to Basti section in your site.
Are you trying to compete with me? I’m still the original and will always be the original.

Respectfully Yours, Ate Charo

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Dear Ate Charo,

Yes it’s true that I now have this section in my site, but it’s mainly for those who are interested.
I’m not trying to compete with you because this is no drama.

Basti

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