Secret Marriage in the Philippines
Here’s another e-mail that I received for our Letters to Basti Section.
This matter is sensitive because it tackles an issue about marriage within the Philippines between two Filipino individuals. If in any case you find erroneous information, kindly inform me so changes will be made immediately. Please feel free to use the contact form.
Here’s our second letter and it’s from a guy named Arnold…
Good day to you! I’m glad that you came up with this idea of people being able to share their concerns while others give their views. Just call me Arnold , a Roman Catholic from Makati, Philippines. I would like to share this dilemma that I have right now, and I need other people’s input and unbiased opinion about a major decision that I am about to make.
I think we may have a somewhat similar situation and that you would be able to relate with my concern. I have a steady girlfriend for a few years now, we started during college. Our families are against our relationship, most especially her parents, because I have a daughter with my ex-girlfriend whom I am supporting until now. For this reason, we kept our relationship secret all these years.
My girl is one month and a week pregnant right now and besides the two of us, no one knows about it yet. I am aware that it’s something that we cannot keep and that sooner or later, people will find out. But before that happens, we want to get married in secret. We don’t want other people to know, most especially her parents. We are planning to tell them about the baby after the marriage, so they can no longer break us apart.
Both of us are already in marrying age, and with stable jobs. But honestly, at this age I have no idea about the procedures of secret marriage and hesitant to ask about it.
We want to get secretly married in church, but if it’s not possible, we can settle with civil secret marriage. We have already decided and whether her parents like it or not, we will push through with our plans. Do you have any idea where we could possibly have a secret marriage held and is it illegal or legal here in the Philippines?
Perhaps there are some people out there who have also gone through the same situation, please share your views, I would greatly appreciate them.
Arnold
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Hello there Arnold, thanks for sharing your story and sorry bro if it took me awhile before I got to post your email here. I had to do a research regarding this matter because I don’t want to give you a wrong advice.
Marriage is a very sensitive issue whether in the law of God or man. And in your case, you are talking about “secret marriage” in particular, which I am not that knowledgeable of, since I wasn’t married in that manner. Although my relationship with Dee was kept secret for a few years, we were married with consent from our parents in b0th sides. I had to ask for legal advice to make sure that whatever is it that I will say in here will be in accordance to the law and family code of the Philippines.
By the way, congratulations with the coming baby. I believe that having a baby is a blessing therefore take good care of your children. It’s good to know that in spite your being unmarried to the mother of your other child, you continue to do your duty as a father and provide support for your daughter. You are one lucky guy because your current girlfriend/wife-to-be has accepted you regardless of your past.
Parents who are against relationships of their daughters to an unmarried guy with kid is a common thing here in the Philippines. You must understand that they are only concerned about their child’s welfare. Like right now, what they feared happened and your girlfriend is pregnant with your child outside marriage. But it’s already there, and at least you are man enough to face the responsibility and to be willing to take the relationship to the next level.
Arnold, sorry to burst your bubbles but to be honest with you, there is no such thing as a valid secret marriage, most especially if what you are trying to imply is getting married with no one else around but you and your girlfriend together with the individual who has the power to solemnize a marriage under the law. You may hear a lot about the term “secret marriage”, it’s all nothing but a cliche.
For a marriage to be valid, the wedding ceremony must comply with the Family Code of the Philippines. Please refer to Title I. Marriage Articles 1 to 54 which comprise the complete provisions of the Family Code on marriage. But since your concern is about getting married in secret, you might want to read Article 3 of the Family Code, wherein the parties declare in the presence of the solemnizing officer and of at least two witnesses both of legal age, that they voluntarily take each other as husband and wife with each one saying “I do” to a series of proper questions. In other words, there should be at least three other persons, aside from the two individuals who want to get married, who are required to be present when you exchange your marriage vows. The individual who will act as the solemnizing officer of the marriage must also be recognized by the law as an individual who have the legal authority to solemnize a marriage (see Article 7 of the family code). Otherwise, your marriage will be considered null and void.
However, if you mean “secret marriage” in such a way that her parents would not know about it and you are at the right age to get married without the presence of your parents, that is another story. You mentioned that you and your girlfriend and already in the marrying age and have stable jobs. what most people know is that when an individual reach 18, he/she can already get married. It’s true but this right comes with certain conditions and restrictions.
If you and your girlfriend are above 25 years old, you may get married even without the presence of your parents. However, you cannot keep it in “secret” based on the above mentioned reasons, the ceremony must comply with Article 3 of the Family Code, wherein at least 2 witnesses of legal age should be present, aside from the solemnizing officer. But if both or one of the parties involved is below 25 years old, you definitely cannot keep your marriage from the knowledge of your parents, because you will need to present required documents when you apply for a marriage license.
If you or your girlfriend is above 18 but below the age of 21, the law requires “parental consent,” and if any of you is 21 or above — but below 25 years old, a “parental advice” is needed, both of which are usually in affidavit form executed by the parents of the concerned parties. So, if you want to get married, may it be in church or civil, you must comply with all the essential and formal requisites found in the Philippine civil law.
One thing I can advice you is, let her family and your family know about the situation. Tell them about your plans of getting married, and try to start building a good relationship with your in-laws-to-be. This way, things will be much better for you, your wife and your coming baby. Start things right, and live in harmony.
I hope I was somehow able to shed light on your concern, and I also hope that you and your girlfriend will get married soon. Advance congratulations to both of you for the marriage and baby!
To those who have ideas about this matter most especially those who have legal knowledge, please share your thoughts regarding this matter.
Tags: Article 3, Family Code, Letters, Marriage, philippine laws on secret marriage, Philippines, Secret, secret marriage, Secret Marriage in the Philippines, Title I. Marriage Articles 1 to 54
great job basti. you have covered the law quite well.
when i read arnold’s letter the first thing that i would like to know is their age because a marriage cannot be “hidden” from their parents if anyone of them is 25 years old or younger. if you are above 25 years old, you can have a civil wedding. all you need is a couple of witness and a judge (or a mayor) to solemnize your marriage. of course, you need to have a marriage licence first from your local civil registrar.
but then again, law aside, i agree with basti that marriage is a celebration of family life that it is better shared with your families and friends.
Quite agree, Basti. No matter how much against the family is to the relationship, the sooner the better it is for the couple to clear things up with them. After all, this is for a lifetime and it’s so difficult to build a good relationship especially with the inlaws if they start things in a muddled way.
@Lawstude : thanks! and thank you for sharing your knowledge too. Unfortunately Arnold did not mention his or his gf’s age, but at least he would know what they would need in order to be married legally.
I also hope that he would try to be in good terms with his gf’s parents, i think that would make things easier for both of them.
@Marites : That’s true, they can’t keep on staying away from their parents all their lives.
THE SECRET CELEBRATION OF MARRIAGE
(Canon Law III – Marriage)
The Canons:
Can.1130 For a grave and urgent reason, the local Ordinary may permit that a marriage be celebrated in secret.
Can. 1131 Permission to celebrate a marriage in secret involves:
1. that the investigations to be made before the marriage are carried out in secret;
2. that the secret in regard to the marriage which has been celebrated is observed by the local Ordinary, by whoever assists, by the witnesses and by the spouses.
Questions:
1. What is secret marriage?
2. What is the purpose of the law on secret marriage?
3. Who has the authority to permit a secret celebration?
4. What does the permission imply?
5. What are the conditions required by the law?
Details:
Notes:
1. That Canon law and Civil law is not always in agreement in some principles. e.i. canon law does not recognize civil marriage while civil law recognizes church marriage. Marriage by proxy is allowed in canon law but not in civil law.
2. Couples who intend to have secret marriage are not prohibited provided that the provisions and requirements of the law are accomplished. (no impediments)
Secret marriage
In the code of 1917, this used to be called the “marriage of conscience” because the reason it was permitted is to provide for the conscience of two individuals who are unable to contract marriage publicly. Since by nature of the celebration is secret, “instead of the “marriage of conscience,” the term by which it was known in the Code of 1917, the present title (secret marriage) is juridically more accurate for the characteristic note of this canonical institution is that the celebration of the marriage, and therefore its existence, are secret but the marriage is celebrated according to the canonical form required by law and it exists not only in the forum of conscience but also in the external forum; and while it is secret [it is not publicly known as a matter of fact], it is public in the canonical sense.” “The major differences between secret marriage and other marriages are simply that the banns are not announced, the ceremony takes place in secret, and all involved must keep the fact of the marriage a secret.”
Purpose of the law
In such a case, “the value the law intends to protect is the right of the faithful to marry (Can. 1058).” Canon law should provide for the good of souls, and there are circumstances when a marriage must be celebrated although it cannot be recognized by civil law and cannot be contracted in accordance with it, such as those that are contemplated by Can. 1071 n.1.2. In this canon, marriages which cannot be recognized by civil law or celebrated in accordance with it are to be celebrated.
The Competent Authority
According to Can.1130, the local ordinary is competent to grant the permission for the secret celebration of a marriage. Can.134 enumerates the local ordinaries: the Roman Pontiff, the diocesan bishops, the equivalents in law of a diocesan bishop, those who even if only for a time preside over a particular church or community equivalent to it [diocesan administrator of both Cans. 419 and 421]
The Implication of Permission
“It dispenses the couple from a customary publicity before marriage and protects them from unwarranted publicity afterwards; for this purpose it imposes the duty of observing the secret on all who are officially involved in the celebration.”
The Conditions Required
1. There must be a grave and urgent reason for permitting such marriages (Can.1130). “The seriousness of the situation should be such that the good achieved by a public celebration is sufficiently offset by the good to be achieved by a secret celebration. In addition, there must be an element of urgency, i.e., there will be possible harm to the parties if there is delay.”
Some examples:
• Marriages of those living in concubinage.
• Marriages contrary to civil law if the prohibition is contrary to natural or ecclesiastical law such as interracial marriages.
• Marriages in countries where church is persecuted and religious marriages are forbidden,
2. The secrecy must be observed. Can.1131 specified the secrecy to be observed. The permission to celebrate a marriage in secret involves:
1. The investigations to be made before the marriage should be carried out in secret.
the fact that the marriage is to be celebrated in secret does not exempt the minister from the usual investigations before marriage; the freedom of the parties to marry, that there are no impediments and other obstacles to a licit and valid celebration of the marriage and the other points of the customary canonical investigation. “All canonical norms must be followed with the exception of the banns, if they are in force in the area. If one or both of the parties is a minor, the parents should be consulted unless there is a most serious reason for not doing so. If the parental objections to the marriage are clearly unjust and serious harm would come to the minor if the parents discovered the proposed marriage, then consultation with them could be omitted but only after discussing the matter with the local ordinary” (Can.1071, n.1 & 6)
2. The secret in regard to the marriage which has been celebrated is observed by the local ordinary, whoever assists, by the witnesses, and by the spouses.
“the people involve are mentioned by name but obviously others too are bound to keep the secret: the sacristan who prepares the church, the notaries who keep the records in the secret archives, etc.”
Since, however, the secrecy is observed in favor of the spouses themselves, should they decide together to make known the fact of their marriage, all others are released from the obligation to keep the secret (Can.1132)
good am!
hi im khai, and im already 18 y/o me and my boyfriend are planning to get married through civil. we want to know what are the requirements in having a civil wedding? does it need a original or xerox birth certificate? thank you.
Me and my husband had our “supposed secret marriage” in June 1990 (Im 22 yo and my husband is 25yo)..we did not declared this publicly until we bore our 1st child in 1996, we got married in church. My query: is there a way to null and void our 1st marriage in 1990 and use our marriage in 1996 as the valid marriage since this is the time we had our 1st child? besides we considered this as the blessed one since this is our marriage in church? Can we apply here article 40 of family code
(Executive Order No. 209 – The Family Code of the Philippines
Art 40. The absolute nullity of a previous marriage may be invoked for purposes of remarriage on the basis solely of a final judgment declaring such previous marriage void)
If possible, what is the procedure?
Thanks!