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A Letter From A Confused Girl

A Letter From A Confused Girl

A Letter From A Confused Girl.

I was so surprised that someone actually sent me an e-mail about the letters to Basti post last year and took it seriously. Thanks to you! So I guess this is a take off for that section in this site. I’m also thinking of changing the Category name and place this section somewhere in the front so people can read them and share their thoughts. And to those who would like to share their stories just click on Contact Basti. Anyway, Our first letter sender is named Elsie and this is what she had to say…

Dear Basti,

I have read about your post Letters To Basti and I want to be a part of it. Just call me Elsie, I’m also a blogger, but I prefer not to disclose my identity to the public. I just want to share my story and to let out this humongous thorn that’s making me bleed inside.

I’ve had a best friend since we were in grade school, he is my godmother’s son and our families are really close, most especially our moms. He’s been really good to me, and he’s always been there for me. We’re also neighbors and we went to the same school since kindergarten.

After we graduated in high school, he told me that he has fallen in love with me, and I just tell him to stop making jokes, and he’s like a brother to me already. but the truth is I’ve had a crush on him even before, but I have tried to ignore the feeling because I’m scared that things might change between us. I even told my mom about it, and her advice was, it’s better to remain friends and we’re still young to get into those kind of things.
He’s cute, and not hard to fall for, but I value our friendship so much and I wouldn’t want to lose him just in case a bf-gf relationship would not work for us. He told me that he respect my decision and we’d remain friends.

One day, one of his friends courted me. He is good looking, tall, and many girls at school have a crush on him, even if he’s a bit of an air head and he’s not so intelligent. I’ve had a crush on him for over a year, and I never thought that he liked me too. My best friend didn’t like the idea and he said that they guy is just playing with my emotions and has other girls too. He said he knows him more than I do coz they’ve been friends for a long time too. I told him that maybe he’s just jealous and to stop making allegations. I said yes to the other guy and we became bf-gf.

My best friend has changed ever since. We don’t do things together anymore and he’s been trying to avoid me. Every time I see him, he wouldn’t even look my way and pretend to be doing something else, or he tries to talk to other people as if I’m not there. I’ve been trying to reach out but he doesn’t answer to my messages on his phone, e-mails, calls, etc. I even blogged about him often because I know he’s subscribed to my blog. But no reaction, even his mom said that he doesn’t want to hear anything from or about me. I felt really bad about it and I can’t help but cry every time he avoids me.

True enough, I discovered that my bf was cheating on me. All the while he had other girlfriends aside from me. I broke up with him soon as I found out but it’s too late, I’ve already lost my best friend. I felt so ashamed of myself for having to choose him and to listening to his false accusations that my best friend was just jealous of him. I told him I hated him and that he’s an A$$#073, I slapped him and gave him the first and only punch I’ve ever done in my whole life. He nearly fainted and he had a black-eye but still it wasn’t enough to pay for what I’ve lost because of him. I can’t forgive myself for ever falling prey to a liar at my best friend’s cost.

But it was too late, my best friend avoided me and he even shifted to another course and transferred to another school last October. When I asked him why, he said he can’t stand seeing me and having me around. He said our friendship was long gone and it’s better if we just forget about each other. I cried so much coz I know I have hurt him really bad, and I don’t even know how to make up for it. I know that guys are different from girls, but how I wish he won’t be so hard on me too. I don’t know what to do anymore to win my best friend back.

While we were apart, I’ve also realized that I love him too. I know, I was such a fool. I’m so shattered and confused right now.

Confused Girl,

Elsie

————————————————————————————————————————

Hello Elsie, I hope you get to read this. As requested I have posted your letter here in the hope that others can also share their thoughts about this.
As for me, I think your best friend was just really hurt. Aside from getting jealous coz you found a new love he also felt that you did not value him as much.
While he respected your decision to stay friends, he thought that you would still be the good old best friend who would listen to him and value his opinion. He was up to nothing but your own good, but you did not believe in him when he told you about what he knows. As a person who loves you, he was just concerned and he did not want you to suffer the consequences or to get your heart broken just in case you end up with the bad guy.
More than the person who loves you, he was your best friend who cared so much about you. I’m sure he felt that you did not trust him enough and you’d rather listen to someone else. Perhaps that triggered the thought that you don’t really need him, or a best friend around to care for you.
You also have to understand that We guys are different from girls. I’m sorry to be a little harsh but I just wanna tell you the truth. What you’ve done was not just mistrusting him as your best friend but he also felt insulted. I guess you just have to show him that you were wrong and don’t expect quick results because it’s not easy to just trust someone who once broke you heart, most especially if you loved and cared for them so much.
Give him time to heal, if he comes back then good, if not… at least you’ve learned your lesson, and I’m sure you’ll never do the same mistake again. But, if he really loves you too, I’m sure he’ll forgive you and he’ll be your best friend again. If you’re hoping for more, maybe you guys could work on that someday.

Basti

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Posted on February 7, 2009
Category: Letters, Love and Relationships
Tags: > > > > > >

Comments

No Responses to “A Letter From A Confused Girl”

  1. li'l miss orange
    February 7th, 2009 @ 6:14 pm

    Cheerio!

    I believe that there’s no one person who could be crowned a “love guru” as the dynamics of each relationship is always different. It is just the lessons that we learn from our and others relationships that makes us our own kind of “love guru”.

    But since it is advice that you seek, it is advice that I shall give you. I just can’t guarantee that you will absoBLOODYlutely like what I could string together.So on with my little parade of cliches here and there…

    They say that friends are the best lovers a person can have. But base on your case I think it really does not apply to all.Hurt like love is inevitable. We’ll never know LOVE in its truest meaning and appreciate it if we were never hurt.This proves true to your case. Well, your “bestfriend” must have loved you a great deal which explains all the hurt he put himself into while you were in a relationship with your crappy (ex)boyfriend.

    Friends act as our support group para silang jury in a court trial they weigh the pros and cons pero at the end of the day it is still us who calls the shots. I really don’t know why still at this time he hasn’t chosen to talk about it…maybe a sense of pride is still distancing him from you. Maybe he realized na at one point no matter what he does to protect you there are just things you have to learn by yourself…learn the hard way even.If you know deep inside yourself that you have done more than enough with all those attempts you did to try to explain to him everything eh its about time na siguro na marealize mo na he’s just not ready. So give him time to digest everything, to compose himself.

    One cliche claims that “time heals all wounds” as if TIME in this case has some cosmic super power to brush off traumas and hurts in people’s lives. Time per se doesn’t heal anything, time simply passes. It is what we do with our lives while time is passing that either helps us, heals us or keeps us stuck. Free your self from guilt my dear girl…move on one step at a time. Think of it this way, happy endings are possible in real life, complete with all those rainbows and butterflies.If life tastes like bitter lemons now it just means that it isn’t the end yet.

    In closing, I’d like to share with you my favorite part from the poem Desiderata: “You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.”

    I hope I’ve managed to help with my 2 cents worth hehe!

  2. lawstude
    February 7th, 2009 @ 7:14 pm

    hello basti, this is my first time in your blog and having this love notes kind of theme is a great idea. para maiba naman sa ibang blog. babalik uli ako dito para kumunsulta.

    to elsie, we can say lots of things here to make you feel better but i personally think that you got what you deserve. namili ka at ganyan ang napala mo. no use crying over a spilled milk. bata ka pa, pagbutihin mo pag-aaral mo at doon mo ibuhos ang energy mo at hindi sa mga lalake.

    time heals wounds, so they say, kaya pabayaan mo na lang ang kinakapatid mo at ayusin mo ang sarili mong pag-aaral.

    sana di ako makasakit kasi tutal di naman tayo magkakilala pero yun ang payo ko. ingat.

    Lawstude’s Latest Post: White Water Rafting @ Cagayan De Oro.

  3. kengkay
    February 7th, 2009 @ 8:46 pm

    alam mo ba kung ano ang pinakamabentang search dun sa blog ko? yung tungkol sa kulam sa pag-ibig. dun ang daming nagtatanong kung papano daw mangkulam ng taong gusto nilang maging kasintahan o kaya naman balikan sila ng kanilang minamahal pang kasintahan. ang parati kong sinasabi, meron silang choices kapag ganyan. idaan sa salamangka o idaan sa dasal at matutunan munang mahalin ulit ang kanilang sarili at tanggapin kung sino sila bago sila ulit maghanap ng bagong mamahalin. kasi kapag mahal natin at kilala natin ang ating sarili, lalapit at lalapit sa atin ang mga taong magpapasaya at magmamahal din sa atin ;D

    salamat sa pagdaan sa aking e-apartment ;D

  4. Basti
    February 7th, 2009 @ 10:53 pm

    thanks LawStude and Maam Kengkay!
    @Lawstude, at least honest tayo sa opinion natin about her situation. hmm hihintayin ko yang pagkonsulta mo. ^^

    @Maam Kengkay – I’m glad you came by din… hehe yeah one should learn to love themselves a little more, coz if we know how to love ourselves it’s the only time that we would be capable of loving others too. Di naman kasi nadadaan sa Kulam ang Pagibig.

    Pero sana maging masaya pa rin tong si Elsie kahit papano…

  5. beero
    February 13th, 2009 @ 10:37 am

    i somehow understand elsie when she decided not to have a love affair with her bestfriend. she just didn’t want to risk their friendship in case their relationship didn’t work. however, should have thought about it. i think it was worth a try since she had a crush on her bestfriend as well. now that her bestfriend doesn’t want to hear something from her anymore, the best thing to do is move on. time heals all wounds, they say. perhaps her bestfriend could forgive her in due time…

  6. Basti
    February 13th, 2009 @ 10:57 am

    yeah i think so too, na hurt lang yung ego nun not only as a guy who loves her but also because they were bestfriends and yet she never listened to him and even accused him of just being jealous. I hope na magkaayos na sila ng bestfriend nya.

  7. beero
    February 13th, 2009 @ 11:17 am

    kaya nga eh. sana nga magkaayos na sila. valentine’s day pa naman bukas. hehe :lol:

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